The Leopard’s Spots

Kiss KissNot so much of a rant, more pondering really.  The question on my mind today; can you truly trust a lothario/cheater?

If you knew that someone, who you find charming and attractive, was a love’em and leave ’em type would you still get involved? This is a question that has often made me personally wonder. Can serial philanderer male of female, straight or gay can ever commit seriously to another? It is an important issue to raise that this is not about the number of partners someone has had, we all have a past and no one deserves to be judged on how many people they have slept with. I personally don’t believe it is ever OK to ask your current squeeze why their ‘magic number’ is. Too many means that they are slutty, too few means they are prudish, right?  In this context, I feel that this is fine.

However where the issue begins to blur is about if someone has had many, many lovers and has used deceptive means to bed someone. If a person is promiscuous but is honest about what they are prepared to offer, then there is an arguement for saying that if someone has been upfront with you and you still wish to do the nasty. You have no real basis to complain when they stay in character. Maybe I am in a minority, but I have never been impressed with a fella who is a ladies man. It is how you treat your lovers that is most important to me (Quality not quantity in this respects). Not so long ago Liam Gallagher who famously cheated on former wife Patsy Kensit, has repeated himself by allegedly cheating on current wife Nicole Appleton. Is it fair to say once as cheater, always a cheater? Should Appleton have paid more attention to his past relationship, before jumping in? Having said that can someone really change, stay monogamous to their ‘soul mate’? Warren Beatty, once an infamous man whore who slept with many beautiful women appears to have settled down with Annette Benning. Was it that she meet him at the right time and that why he turned over a new leaf? Can anyone truly ‘tame’ anyone? I am not really a believer in the idea of ‘taming’ anyone, people either want to commit or not, they really do not then there is nothing anyone can do. Maybe one solution is to not think that you can ‘fix’ them, but to keep your own independence and make it clear that you like them but will not wait around for them. Some players, are so used to fawning admirers that they take it for granted that some one will hang on their every word. A gentle reminder that you are not a puppy dog may prove to be a useful tool.

Honestly, I cannot claim to have the answer. My only comment would be stay true to your own sense of self worth, independence and boundaries.  If they should fall into their old ways, to just say goodbye and never look back. If they were truly worthwhile they would never have let go.

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