In the sugarcoated romance that has been forced down our throats; that in love you only have one true, perfect love. That once you are married that the struggles are over and everything will go swimmingly for all eternity.
For those of us that have actually lived, loved and learned know that this is just romantic fiction:
I. We are allowed and do love more than once
The idea that you can only truly love one person is an over simplification of complex emotions. During our lives we have different kinds of love. There is first love which is all consuming and what can be overwhelming (thanks in part to hormones). As first loves don’t always last long term, you learn about what you want as opposed to what will please your lover. We grow, change and our needs develop with us; we are not the same people at 18 that we are at 35. What was romantic as a teenager, maybe just annoying as an adult.
II. It is OK to give up
It is part of loving another that you have trials and tribulations and that you may well have to fight for that relationship. Some relationships are worth fighting for, this is not to say that all couples are not worthwhile. However there are plenty that are simply have run their course, that some problems are so overwhelming that you cannot solve by just loving someone; like addiction, infidelity etc. It is not that you have stopped caring, it is just that you know that you have reached the end of the road and now you have to move on with your life. Martyrdom is overrated and actually kind of lazy, living is harder and takes more guts then laying down in front of a speeding train.
III. Some people are not worth the stress
At one point we have all taken leave of our better judgement, we have become infatuated with someone who we knew deep down was wrong for us. Be it someone who involved with someone, never keeps their promises or flirts while you are trying to have a serious conversation. You hold on, hoping that they will change, hoping that they will become the version of them that you know they could be. Here for all those people who live in hope that your paramour will change, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR LIFE! People who care for you, who are worthwhile; will make the effort and put you first! No if ands or buts. Of course they will make mistakes, but for the most part they will do the best they can for you. Promises are worthless unless they are backed up with action; if someone talks the talks but never follows through, they are speaking volumes.