I Need, I Want, I Will

Be yourself

Be at peace.

All of these statements are true, not for one second would I dispute, or argue with these sentiments. I have been wondering, as my mind often does. How do you find peace of mind? How can I be myself. A strange question for some, just do it. Having said that how do you teach this to someone young or unsure of themselves? Even people who claim to be just happy to be themselves, at times say or do things that makes me wonder if they really are as secure as they say they are. Please do not misinterpret what I have just written as some kind of snooty attack, that I am blessed with supreme confidence that no one could possibly have. Of course not; we are all allowed moments of self doubt, I for one have had more than a few moments of panic of being teased, looking like a prat etc.

Don’t fret over what is ‘cool’. If something gives you pleasure, luxuriate, and enjoy. Trends and fashions come and go, to keep up with all of them would leave you with no time to work and live. Those are truly ‘cool’ don’t care if you think they are cool, because they just don’t care how they’ve perceived.

Accept yourself as you are. If you are short, you will never make it as a model. If you are tall you will never be a jockey. Don’t fawn over celebrity magazines wishing you looked like some current hot young thing. Believing that they are physically perfect specimen, whilst you with your cellulite, varicose veins and others imperfections. Fear not for they are not perfect, they just hide their flaws better than us.

Learning to not give a shit about people’s opinion of you (or their perception of you). No matter what you do and how you go about your life, you will grate on at least one person. Someone will have a problem with your dress, lifestyle, appearance even your star sign. Simply put you cannot please everyone and actually allot of people don’t deserve to be pandered to their whims and ignorance. So if someone has a negative view of you, that is up to them. A person’s ideas of you is not always your business and you don’t need to be bothered with a misconception.

Be prepared to stand alone when staying firm to your beliefs. To stay true to your own truths and vision of the life that is at times lonely. For  existence is easier to placate and pacify, to just say yes. However to object, to not dilute to stick to your guns is never easy. Great pioneers and social reformers could have given up; to go back to their comfortable lives. Instead they made tough choices and did not give up on what they felt to be just.

You will be ridiculed, mocked and be told that you are ‘weird’. Anyone who sticks their head above the parapet ricks being shot in the head. That is the risk you pay for individuality, for seeing the world differently and to challenge convention. Take comfort that ‘normal’ is a relative term, indicative of time and culture. What maybe strange to one is utterly ordinary. Once upon a time, women were expected to not work and stay home to raise the children. Those that did work would have been meet with glances, whispers and comments for their civil disobedience. Now it is very normal. Marlene Dietrich was ridiculed for wearing trousers, even being thrown out of certain hotels in Paris. Unless you live in parts of Sudan, women wearing trousers won’t raise an eyebrow.

Just because you have an epiphany, a eureka moment. Does not mean that you can Lord it over others and use it to bully them with your clarity. How much of a cliche is it when someone finds God (for example), they become dogmatic and forceful to those who don’t agree. Your beliefs don’t make you superior, it is your actions that speak lousiest.

We all have doubts, insecurities, short comings and darker sides. That is normal, that is what makes us human. All you can do is remember your strengths, your passions and not give up.

Rose scream

 

 

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One comment

  1. When you accept yourself and others — the young notice and follow suit. When they have awkward moments and question – you listen closely and give value to their thoughts. Through consistent positive acceptance — young people (and old dogs) learn to be themselves. The City is easy, we have all kinds of people. It’s the rural areas that offer a tough go~

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